It has been a series of mishaps this month...culminating in the final one last night, in which my husband not so gracefully launched a stemmed wine glass full of wine into our living room wall. He tripped over his computer cord, which was stretched across our living room, at which we were attempting to watch free TV... and had to let go of his glass in an effort to save him from falling on his head.
It was a big ca-chang, bing, crash, and then I turned from my computer to see him diving onto our couch and shards of glass all around me on the floor. It took about three seconds before we burst into laughter. Not that this singular event was funny, but just the fact that it has been one ridiculous catastrophe after another recently... at some point, you really have to laugh at yourself and the absurdity of it all.
So we did have a good hard laugh, then we got down on our hands and began to gather up the pieces, and sweep the remainder of ourselves together. It was like collecting the pieces of the life that we are hanging onto, and putting them into safekeeping, while those that lie broken and scattered are carried to the trash. Moving is like this...it requires that you pick apart pieces of your life and examine them one at a time...perhaps that is why it remains so deliciously addictive for this philosophy major to continually be uprooting herself, place to place to place. It requires a tremendous amount of self-reflection, examination, and a pulling away of grain from chaff. What is necessary, what is not? What helps me along, what hinders me? What could we use, what is a waste? It can be healing to the soul to ask these questions, and to literally shed weight of excess items and parts of the self that you no longer need for the next step.
Like preparing for a long journey it takes discipline, patience and an honesty with yourself to glean your being for those nuggets of self that run through everything, that keep you who you are no matter what the circumstance, that hold you to your place in life, your purpose and your goals. The rest can be painful to let go of, and it can hurt a great deal to say goodbye to promises unkept, dreams unrealized, belongings that you treasured, ideas you long held, and the things that maintain our comfortable life. The known is very powerful. But the unknown is what lies ahead. And to get there, we must travel lighter than we have, and we must shed the weights and hurts that hold us down and keep us tied to place and time. To look ahead is to let go.