The Sleep Wars

i am so irritated right now i can barely contain it.  i am, once again, despite all of my zenlike efforts and intentions, totally consumed with the sleep habits of a child.  

He sleeps, then I am content and thinking he is the greatest being ever to grace the Earth.  He does not sleep, and I am clenching my teeth, trying not to scream at a toddler.  His will is like an iron grip around my heart, and when he tests it, it hurts.  Tonight, and last night, we have made repeated attempts to get our son to bed... From 7pm to 9pm the clock ticks, the food gets cold, the tempers get short.   Bodhi, however, is still red-eyed and wide awake.  My husband is on the field, in the room, and I am more like a soccer mom, calling phrases of encouragement at him: "You can do it!  Go sweetie!"  Feeling inadequate and frustrated.  Part of me is aching for my 19 month old determined little boy, not wanting him to struggle.  The other part of me is ready to put him on a ship out to sea.  Turns out more important than patience in parenting is a giant box of wine and someone to laugh with, because I am going to need both of those things this evening, and the patience has left the vicinity.